Red flags about online dating
Men are socialized to Hit Anything That Moves (or at least to consider having sex with any interested woman). For women, Ok Cupid is both a less-intimidating medium for asking men on dates, and an easy out for evading creepy suitors.You’re entitled to select a date you are interested in and attracted to, which means you don’t have to respond to a guy’s advances just because he’s taken the time to advance upon you.” Actually, it makes him sound like a mustachioed uncle who shouldn’t be left alone with children.Men who sexually fetishize women who look underage aren’t just fetishizing underage girls—although that’s disturbing enough.“It’ll make you stop being such a judgmental bitch,” was how she put it.“You’ll have to be nice to people.” Online dating was, in my bitchy and judgmental estimation, for women who wanted to get married, stat, and were willing to settle for whatever turned up a few clicks away.
I had a busy social life, a job I liked, smart friends, and a general aversion to committed relationships—and no incentive to clear the way for dudes. Then my friend Priscilla—an attractive, normal, and well-socialized young woman—signed up for Ok Cupid.
Yes, we’re all steeped in White Dude Culture, but date-worthy men and women should at least make an effort to escape a little bit. Double negative points if the favorites include Bret Easton Ellis or Norman Mailer. Comments about a woman being young, tiny, or child-like.
What It Means: I’m a pedophile, or I like my women weak.
If you are a reasonably intelligent woman with some amount of self-esteem, you will eventually be branded as “crazy” by No Crazies Guy. See also: Men who refer to women as “females.” The shirtless photo. We’re all animals here—looks are a big part of the online dating game, so I don’t begrudge anyone for trying to look sexy.
But an equally important component of the online dating game is sending visual cues to potential dates about what kind of person you are.