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Dating lightly is just a different kind of romance altogether.

I actually just entered a Relationship this week after a looong period of non-serious dating, which will never not be an unnatural (yet fulfilling!

Having recently relocated after more than two decades in one region, the possibility of relocating again is overwhelming and financially unrealistic.

My name is Beca and up until relatively recently, I was a serial monogamist.

Also, if you start showing up with someone to events like these, the people in your life are going to start associating the two of you as a couple, and sometimes other people defining your relationship can have a significant impact on actually defining it. If you're going to start including someone you're sleeping with into more intimate social outings with your close posse, you might as well give them a goddamn drawer.

Worst case scenario: You cool on your attraction to them, in the meantime they fall hard—for both you and your favorite cafe. The whole situations evokes a kind of intimacy you just shouldn't mess with if you want to maintain a certain degree of distance with someone.

All that dissolved the first time we had a sexless sleepover together. Again, the dude in the above scenario didn't do anything wrong by expressing himself and his needs.

It accidentally established a kind of intimacy that forever warped our situation. That's the most important part, really: Maintaining an open policy of honesty between the two of you.

I mean this next statement so hard: If you don't plan to have a more permanent relationship with someone, you don't need to be linked on social media at all. It was way too strong, way too fast, and ultimately contributed to me making sure we didn't schedule a second one. But this kind of relationship also wasn't in line with the game plan we originally discussed, and it was a bummer to lose that great thing we had, even if what we were inadvertently turning into would've been great for some people, or even for us at a different time in our lives.

Years ago, I had what I considered the ultimate sex friendship. And if I'd had better boundaries back then, we possibly could've maintained the great, casual thing we had going on.

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